ARTIST: KISS
ALBUM: Monster
LABEL: Universal Music Group
RELEASE DATE: October 9, 2012
Returning Legends
Written by Dan Sinclair
Grab your black wigs and paint your fucking face, KISS Army. Your fearless leaders are back with their 20th studio album, Monster. Yes, that’s right. Let your mouths gape wide in amazement and your ridiculously long and freakishly misshapen tongues fall where they may. Don’t be afraid that Eric Singer and Tommy Thayer are now the ones banging the drums and playing lead guitar—they’re pretty good at what they do. Besides, Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley are still here rocking as they always did and they were the guys you came to see anyway, right? Stanley also produced the album and if that doesn’t scream KISS Army certified, I honestly don’t know what does.
Monster kicks off with the first single “Hell or Hallelujah,” combining all the great ingredients that KISS fans eat up. It’s fast rock-and-roll, it’s loud and it’s pretty damn catchy. It’s the kind of song you’d play when you’re complaining about how poor you son’s taste in music is. Why can’t your electro-rock-indie-folk band put down their keyboards, stop whining about their feelings and play music like this? You see, KISS doesn’t care. They could go to heaven or hell. Doesn’t matter to them. They’re just gonna party and have a good time, man. You probably actually care about stuff, don’t you? Pussy.
“Wall of Sound” is next and Gene Simmons takes over vocals for this one. It keeps the party going with some really great riffs. Actually, this one’s also got a pretty sweet solo from Thayer. See? You don’t miss those other guys at all now, do you? Come on, they’re wearing make-up. You can’t tell who they are anyway.
“Freak” is my choice for best song on the album. “I pledge allegiance to the state of independence.” Right on, KISS. I’m with you. But seriously, this song rocks with the catchiest chorus layered with some memorable harmonizing all over an all-out rock fest. “Back to the Stone Age,” “Long Way Down” and “Shout Mercy” do a lot more of the same as the first three songs. This album shows no signs of slowing down. It’s just going to keep rocking, like it or not.
“Eat Your Heart Out” does something a little different with the band singing the chorus a capella: “Eat Your Heart Out, baby/Oh, won’t you give me something sweet?/Eat your heart out, baby/A hot mess is just what I need.” Nice refreshing change of pace. But just for a second…then it goes right back to rocking and the follow-up is even better, making it official for all those who called KISS “Devil music.” Kiss proudly proclaims, “The Devil Is Me.” Oh, wait. So they were right. Oh, good for them.
The other highlights include Simmons and Stanley stepping back to let Thayer sing “Outta This World” and Singer take lead on “For the Love and Rock-and-Roll.” It’s kind of cool actually how the band can rotate the lead vocals and the album never sounds like it skips a beat.
It’s impressive that KISS’ music has now come full circle. The same music their dedicated teenage fans blasted to rebell against their parents, they now play at a reasonable volume to piss off their kids. Though KISS may not be for everyone, their album Monster does exactly what it promises to do. It provides loud, catchy arena rock for those who love it, flicks a middle finger in the general direction of all those that hate it and makes absolutely no apologies for any of it in the process. The sound remains consistent and there is no drop off in quality or dedication in a single one of the tracks.
Though this album will not move every single person who hears it, it will take certain people back to a better time—a time when they drank beer without beer bellies and they grew their hair long because they actually had hair to grow. But remember this: though you may get older, the music you love never ages.